Is Your Lover Wearing A Mask?

By Maxine Browne

At the beginning of a new relationship, everyone puts their best foot forward. Your date will refrain from chewing with his mouth open. He will open doors for you on your first few dates, even if he rarely does it after six months. But I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about the deceptive, manipulative behavior characteristic of an abuser.

An abuser will mirror a wildly romantic partner. He will take you on lovely dates and buy you flowers. There may be a flourish of “over the top” romance in everything he does. However, he’s not doing these things to show you how special you are. He’s doing these things to conquer you. Once he wins your heart, he has you. He’s taking control.

An abuser would never insult you on the first date. He’ll tell you how ravishing you are. He will swoon over your eyes. There will be no sign of the contempt with which he will later treat you. Your new lover will paint himself into the cracks of your needs and will seem like the answer to your prayers. You’ll have no idea that he has targeted you and that this is all a game to make you fall for him.

He may lie about what he does for a living. He may claim to travel extensively on business, when he’s actually unemployed and living in a small town with his mother. The fictitious business trips allow him to hide all sorts of things about his life. He says he can’t invite you over to his place because he’s out of town. You won’t be meeting his family and friends either, who may let facts slip that don’t match the stories he has told you about himself.

When dating someone new, take your time to get to know him. If you feel pressured to commit after only a few weeks of dating, slow things down and get some advice from friends and family. He may be a prince or he may be a frog. He may not be who he says he is at all. And people like that may have a hidden agenda. Being careful now could save you from years of tears later.

Maxine BrowneMaxine Browne is an author and workshop facilitator on domestic violence. Knowing the warning signs of an abusive relationship can help you avoid so much pain.

Visit her website at and download her article Red Flags of An Abuser FREE. This information could save your life. 


Share Button

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload CAPTCHA.